Are You Angry… or Just Really Disappointed?

We all face storms but love looks at the storm and is not shaken.

Sometimes, I find myself sitting in a storm of intense emotion. Frustrated. Impatient. Angry. It is only when I take time to pause and peel back the layers, that I find something vulnerable beneath the surface. I realize I’m not angry. I’m just really disappointed.

Disappointment wears many different masks. Anger is one of the common ones. It makes us feel more powerful, more in control. But we're honest, that anger is often rooted in something deeper like pain, unmet expectations, or a quiet fear that maybe I’m not enough, or that something I hoped for won't happen. Can you relate?

One of the most powerful shifts in my life has been learning to ask myself "Why am I so upset by what's going on?" It's a question that helps me move from reaction to reflection. From judgement to curiosity.

In Get Serious and Other Principles to Pull You Through, there’s a chapter called “Love Stays.” I quote Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116, which says:“Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove. O no! It is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken.”

That kind of unshakable, enduring love isn’t just for relationships with others. It’s a reminder of how God loves us, even in our anger and our disappointment. And God is not offended when we confront Him with our disappointment because He knows that something better is up ahead.

So if someone left you, or things didn’t turn out the way you hoped, maybe it wasn’t the plan after all. Maybe it wasn’t God’s plan. And even if it hurts, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend..." [Proverbs 27:6]. God can be trusted. He sees. He cares. And He’s working it together for your good.

When I take a moment to dig beneath my reaction, I often discover that my anger was really my heart crying out, “I just wanted this to work.” But that’s where trust comes in. I am learning to trust that everything I am going through can and will be used for good. Trust that love hasn’t left you. Trusting that you are still loved, even when things feel broken.

Letting go of our expectations (how people should behave, how things should unfold) allows God to move in ways we can’t understand. And how can we remain angry or disappointed when we truly believe “all things work together for the good of those who love Him”? (Romans 8:28)

We all face storms but love looks at the storm and is not shaken.

Nugget of Truth:

Letting go of our expectations makes room for God to move. Love is patient with people and with the process. So when disappointment hits, don’t let anger lead the way. Let love lead instead. Because even when plans change, love stays.