How Are Your Listening Skills?

Listen with the intent to learn, not just to answer.

Let’s be honest: most of us think we’re good listeners until we’re asked to actually stop talking. It’s something I have to work on daily. Not just listening to respond, but truly listening to understand without interrupting, fixing, judging, or tuning out while mentally crafting my reply (my default setting).

For a long time, I associated talking with strength or at least I acted that way. I thought being the most outspoken in the room means I am the most confident, the most capable, the most in control. But that’s not true strength. In fact, it’s often the opposite.

Real strength is found in the ability to be still and listen. Listen with the intent to learn, not just to answer. To hear someone’s heart, not just their words is a skill. It really is. To make listening a practice, not just a passive experience, is more valuable than words most times.

I love this thought: “I often rehearse my reply while someone else is still speaking. Real listening feels slower… and more sacred.” That hits home for me. Because true listening is sacred. It invites connection, healing, and understanding. It creates space for others to be seen and heard. It’s an act of humility that says, “You matter. I’m here for more than just my perspective. I want to learn from you.”

But this isn’t just about our conversations with others. It’s about listening to God, too. We can’t afford to tune out the voice of God because we’re too busy talking, planning, or performing. Sometimes we pray, but don’t pause long enough to hear the answer. Guilty? Sometimes we hear the answer, but don't like it. Guilty on two counts? So, what do we do? We keep praying for a different one.

But hearing God and obeying Him are marks of someone who’s serious about change. That’s the heart behind my book Get Serious and Other Principles to Pull You Through. The backstory of “Get Serious” came from a quiet inner whisper: “When you’re serious, it will show.” And isn’t that the truth?

Serious people who want serious change are willing to do what it takes, and that includes learning how to listen. Listening to others with empathy. Listening to yourself with honesty. And most importantly, listening to God with humility and obedience.

Because what good is hearing if we don’t apply what we heard to our lives? What good is knowledge without taking action?

Listening, especially to the voice of God, isn't about collecting inspiration (we could do that watching a Ted Talk). It's about receiving instruction for being better and for making the world better.

Nugget of Truth:

We get serious when we listen and choose to act on what we heard. This kind of listening isn't for the simple. It’s for the wise. So let’s stop rehearsing our replies, slow down, and lean in. The voice of God and the hearts of those around us are worth hearing.